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Here are some of the responses from yesterdays post on Facebook!
Honestly, I would say that if I was to marry to someone, I would have to live with them for at least 6 months. There are a lot of things that people do behind closed doors that I need to see. Plus, both sides need to get used to arguing and being able to live in the same space. Beforehand, you just say I am out and go to your own place. If you living together, you can see if you can work things out and coexist even with being mad at each other.
I really believe you don't know someone until you have lived with them. How they go about keeping things in order in their home says a lot about someone personally. Do they leave their belongings all over the floor and wait for someone else to pick them up? Do they leave dirty dishes in the sick? Do they cook and leave the dishes for later or do they cook and clean at the same time? Do they keep the T.V on all night? I mean you could honestly figure this stuff out by staying somewhere together; maybe on a weekend at a family's spot or extended hotel stay..doesn't really have to be shacking up. I had a friend who I considered by best friend and we were like peas in a pod..then we lived together and let's just say I got to see some stuff I hadn't expected and it did change our relationship..and if you know who you are and are reading this darling..lol..know that i love you and we could NEVER live together again but mos def friends for life. On the other hand if you truly love someone you will work together to work out the kinks.
I believe living together gives people an "out" before marriage. Having my son I dont want to "try" people out before marriage because he would get confused. I pray the man that I choose is chosen by God for me and we will be able to survive him leaving the cap off the toothpaste and socks on the floor lol
I believe it is necessary. Since cohabitation is the ultimate test of compromise and tolerance in a relationship, its ideal to have a trial run on "forever"... To me its not so much about personal habits, its about "how" two individuals compromise under one roof. Spending the night and/weekends is very different from sharing a place and space...forever
.I think u make a great point..havin a child would def make me feel differently about moving in with someone....With having no children..I thhnk living together allows you to find out things deeper than personal hygeine but allows you to see how they handle money, family, and day to day stress from a job or life in general and that can help or hurt the relationship if you ignore the signs.....
nope..I learned shacking is the worst way to get to know someone before marriage.. In fact it distorts the true person you are looking for.. Shacking forces a person to become who you want the to be...Dont get me wrong, Its fun and sometimes you get lucky. But If ya luck aint that good and they get tired of pretending to be who you want the to be , things can get complicated.But now that I think of it that can happen even if you aint shackin.. Its all about how many lies YOU willing to put up wit for someone you "care" about. He or she gonna give you magic tricks just to proove that they are the one you need to be with any way. Sometimes they have good intentions , sometimes they dont.
For me it would help me to determine if I can live with this person or not. Exceptions would be, if I've spent a significant time staying at his house and already know his get-down when it comes to his living "quarters". I think a "trial period" of living together is cool before a marriage...but we can't be shackin up for years!
I agree. U would be sorry if u didn't. My hubby used to irk my nerves when he use to blow his nose for 1hr every am when I tried to sleep. Omg I wanted to hurt him. If we were married b4 that was resolved, we would not have made it.
My thoughts always coming from a Biblical stand point. Shacking up is not cool, that is the same principal as saying you r married. We waste our time in shacking up because u r treating that person to all the treats. Meaning he/she will have standards that they want met. Like cleaning which is cool, cooking which is cool and sex which is not. I mean just these things can be determined by courting, we meaning blacks have the highest divorce rate and we wonder why. We need to change the way we date and do the requirements up front and stop cutting corners. We all talk about my husband and wife being our best friends, a person we can confide in, talk to no matter the situation. Well people my thoughts from a Biblical aspect is to do the courtship there is a lot u can find out by a person.
Worked for me, together 17 years, lived together about 2 years, married almost 15 years, still honeymooning. Allowed us to work out our "roles" before marriage. Don't know if I'd recommend it for everybody though. Marriage to me is like a fingerprint everybody's is different. There are no rules except respect and communication. We were engaged around the same time we "officially" started living together...
Living together before marriage is not a bad decision. Both parties need to be able to see each other at their worst and at their best. When you go and visit someone they always present their place in best standards. But what happens when you are not there and that person turns into a slob or such. Its good to know a person habits living wise so that way you can determine if you can deal with it or not..Do you know how many marriages end because the other person cannot stand to live with their mate? you should also give yourself a timetable as well as how far you are willing to live together before marriage. After six months if you not at the alter than it is dueces because it does not make sense to be playing house for years and years. If you good enough to live with him, cook, wash clothes, have sex with, work to contribute to the household than you are good enough to be made honest and become his wife...and men if you are good enough to pay bills, be the provider, take care of her and kids if they are involved then it should be worthwhile for you to marry her and be her husband...true partnership under God
I know I'm not single, but ABSOLUTELY!!! My husband and I were dating for 8 years before we got engaged..we moved in together 4 months before our wedding and it was an EYE OPENER!! We are still going strong after almost 8 years of marriage, but that first year living together was rough-you are meshing two separate lives and still trying to resume your independence..even the strongest relationships need that trial period before the stresses of marriage-I will say they are some of our funniest moments as we look back now!
To each is own and I understand both sides. My views changed over the years. Initially, Plan A was to move out of my parents' house when i got married (the most traditional and biblical view since you leave your parents and be united as one). Well that's most likely to happen if you marry young. As I got older and was at the point to leave the nest, there was no husband around (and still isn't but I digress) ...so there went that. Personally, I would do it if marriage were imminent (i.e-we're engaged and the wedding is like in a couple of wks, maybe a couple of months) but not if he is just my boyfriend and marriage hasn't even been a topic. I think the longer you live on your own, the harder it probably is to get accustomed to one another as each of you are set in your own ways... so it is definitely a huge adjustment.
No it's not. I won't live with no one unless we are married. Shacking takes away from the excitement or getting married
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