Dating in my 50s is not the same as it was in my teens. Being married at 19, divorced at 37, then just like that, remarried (rebound – more on that in a future post) and now single at 53 – times have changed. Or have they? Have the times changed or have we as women let some things become more acceptable. When did it become OK for females to become so aggressive? When did it become practically expected to sleep with someone on the “third” date? And when did it become common for women to lose their femininity and mystique?
Women have achieved unbelievable goals in the areas of finance, career, and family balance yet have these strengths and achievements impeded our inner womanliness? Are we making dating and mating so easy for the male species that he doesn’t even have to try and up his game? Have any of you been asked out by text message, and for a first date, no less. Have any of you been asked to “call me” by a guy who you have exchanged one or two emails with in online dating. Who plans the date you or the guy? By accepting such behavior, we are allowing men to be lazy and actually impeding their manhood. Research has shown men to be wired with the “hunt” and women to be wired with more domestic tendencies. This doesn’t mean women have to stay at home and cook and clean, but it does mean we have to give the guys a chance to pursue us. Any fisherman will tell you the excitement and challenge of fishing is in the casting, the gentle tug on the line, the fish swimming away, and the back and forth tugs until the catch is reeled in. As women, we need to realize the fun that can be had with the subtle taunt and tease, the anticipation and excitement of the call, and the no-worries he has planned the date aspect.
So ladies, I implore you to use your feminine attributes and insist he call you, he asks you out, and he plans the date. Do not sleep with anyone unless you are in a committed, monogamous relationship (which takes at least a few months) and finally relax and enjoy and celebrate the fact you are a women!
Dr. Leta www.biohormonesinc.com
Dr Leta. I can absolutely relate to this post and I am 33. The online dating thing just happened the other day! Two emails and then a "CALL ME" message! And I have been asked out more by text than in person or over the phone more times that I can count. I too question whether the accomplishments women have achieved over the last century has caused a shift in the balance of healthy relationships. I know some people will hate that, but I think about it often. I will continue to try to take things slow and let him "hunt" but boy is it hard. Men dont expect to have to do much these days.....
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