Here are some of the responses from yesterdays post on facebook!
High standards/expectations of the opposite sex
Settling. Just be honest about your needs
Faith and honesty
FEAR ! ... FEAR OF THE HURT , PAIN AND OR THE UNKNOWN ... EVERYBODY WANT A FREAKIN SURE THING , IT JUST ISN'T REAL !!! PEOPLE NEED TO TAKE CHANCES , GO OUT ON A LIMB AND JUST FREAKIN ENJOY LIFE , NO MATTER WHAT COMES !!!
My two cents: women tend to settle because of the lack of quality options. Men wont settle because of they have too many options. I was gonna say something else but lets just say divine intervention prevented it ;0)
I don't think it's fear at all. I think so many single folk (especially women) have too high of a standard. I'm not saying you shouldn't aim high but it seems like no one wants to work together and build. The ladies I talk to want Mr. Already Right. A lot of brothers aren't there yet. So many women still want that dude with no kids, that may not happen and it seems like no one is willing to relax their standards.
settling not only because of the lack of options, but also because of that "clock" that tends to click so loudly in our heads, pressure from what everyone else is doing and just plain being lonely...What we have to remember is "SOMETHING is NOT always better than nothing."
I think folks settle b/c they are anxious about being single or alone or pressure from other people/families. Stop settling for less than what you want. You want a man with a decent job and career, don't settle for a man that "is looking for a job for the last 6 months" or you want a woman who isn't superficial, don't settle for a woman who's only focus is how much a man makes, simply b/c she is FOINE!
However, too high expectations could also mean...i only want a man or woman who makes over 200K, good hair, (whatever the heyll that means) tight body, owns property, travels, and loves me for me. #Fail.
I think the common thread here is honesty. What we want/expect may be something totally different from what we need. The need is difficult to see sometimes, and may require being honest with ourselves to figure it out. And once we figure it out, we may find it difficult to be honest with that partner. A lot of times we settle, because we are not honest.
People now in days don't date like they did during the time our pRents grew up. Many men lost the gentleman charms and many woman are no longer lady like. People like to just to dip their toes in water but now jump in completely. You are not alone. There are a lot of good men and women out their , and still single!! Keep your head up and pray for how you want him . Just know that he is out there.
I would say that the biggest obstacle for single men and women is wanting someone that is 100% of your needs but only being 70% of theirs. I really do believe that you can't get what you are not.
One can't have high expectations of someone when they don't hold the same for themselves. I firmly believe you gotta be about it, to ask it. I'm an optimist, and I still believe truly good, successful people are attracted to the same. Without that optimism, what's the point in dating!
I feel simply that it is knowing what you want and not compromising to the extent that you seem desperate for whatever reason. Keeping your integrity is also very important and also not becoming so happy that you become too codependent. A...llowing yourself to be vulnerable without too much exposure is also tough. This means that it's alright to hang onto pieces of "you" without laying it all out there in hopes to 'be an open book'.
nothing ventured nothing gained. You have to put some skin in the game if you want someone else to be all in too. It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Options! We have too many, makes everything confusing.
I agree with a lot of comments already mentioned... especially with people wanting more from someone else than they can offer. I think a lot of it has to do with serendipity as well...Meeting/encountering that person at the right time in both of your lives
That's why I feel it is so important to focus on oneself to be your best so you can attract the right person for you.
Learning their roles
No comments:
Post a Comment